Distance

It is the end of March and while most people my age are almost done for the school year, I am back at school for my last quarter of the year. When I returned back to my house, at school, I saw how many people went away to somewhere way warmer than Columbus, well Ohio in general. I too, went away for Spring Break but no where warm. I went to the wonderful city of Toronto. I decided my week of no classes was best spent with the boyfriend. Although he was still in school it was still a great way to spend time together, which is something we don't get a lot of. Being in a long distance relationship is harder than what the movie "Going The Distance" shows us. Its complicated, hard, tiring, time consuming, painful and scary.

I never thought that when I met that "person", I would be in a long distance relationship with them. I always thought I would come to college here at Ohio State, and meet a fellow buckeye. I thought we would have the normal relationship that my parents had when they were here. As a couple we could do lot of things together like the Library, homework, dinner and lunch, walk home and even hang out on the weekends. I believed that we would do all these things together and live happily ever after. This is definitely not the case with the relationship I have now. 

The boyfriend and I constantly have to work and fight to have that wonderful relationship I always dreamed of. We constantly talk and try to figure out when we are going to see each other next. People ask me all the time how I do this. Every time I answer with something simple. I say that I just do it. But truthfully it is nothing that simple and I don't just do it. It takes a lot to keep to doing this and every day gets harder. 

Last year we would maybe see each other every few months or so and that wasn't that bad to me then. Now looking back and knowing we spent so many months apart I don't know how I did it. This year we have been trying to see each other once a month and it has been going very well, but I can barely get through the 3 or so weeks I have to wait to see him next. I have never been like this about someone before and for awhile I didn't know why I was like this. Why I could barely concentrate on school work and just life here at OSU. After months of going through this I finally figured it out. 

This past summer the boyfriend and I spent the summer working together at camp. After camp was over I went and spent a week with him and his family in Toronto. We had just come from a place where we could only see each other at night and never really got to hang out by ourselves. So this week we had together was bliss. We could spend the whole week together, just us. When the week was over and I returned back to Cleveland I was devastated. I cried for 2 days straight and I couldn't stop. I admit it I am very emotional but I had never been this way before. I didn't know why I couldn't stop and I didn't know what to do. Then this past winter break I went to spend a week in Florida with him and his family,  and shortly after we went to Israel together on Birthright for 2 weeks. When the trip was over and we were back in Newark, NJ airport, we had to say our goodbyes. I was a mess and I didn't want to let him even go to his gate. I again couldn't stop crying. 

These instances made me think about us and our relationship. I kept thinking why would I keep putting myself through this pain every time I said goodbye? I knew I kept doing this because simply I can't imagine my life without him. He is my best friend and my boyfriend. He has been there through good and bad. He has seen me at my craziest moments and he still loves me. If we didn't keep fighting and working to be together, then I wouldn't have this amazing person in my life. 

So for now I will take this skype and bbm based relationship. Even though it is hard and I seem to always complain to him about it (sorry boyfriend). I will settle for this long distance because the person on the other side of this is totally worth everything.